Friday, September 4, 2009

Real Shxt

Its four days into the month of September, I cant explain it but i just havent felt like my self for awhile now. Well after this blog, im going to head to bed and try to get a good nights sleep. I want tomarrow to be my day. Meaning not let anything bother me. When i wake up ; get out the shower im gonna change into something that makes me feel really good about myself and go and start my day.If anything bad happends i wont let it get to me, ill try to smile more and just hope to have just a really nice day.

Well im on break for my classes until the 15th. I guess you could say im trying to start new habbits and just try to change my life around with a different attitude towards myself ; mylife.
Yall ready to join me?

Its kinda like how people have new years resolutions. Well im going to start that but NOW. From today until the 15th i want to start new things like habbits and such and when the 15th comes i just want to see what i stick with and what i dont if i choose not to keep anything i start.
Im not really sure yet what im changing. I know i wanna start a new diet. Go job hunting like crazy! because at this point i really need a job. I want to keep 100 focused on my school work (because lately ive been letting my problems interfere on my school attendance and schoolwork). read more. express myself more. Stop being so to myself ; quiet. And anything else that i decide.
If any of yall been feeling kinda off yall should start something new too! It could be something so simple like going to sleep earlier for a better nights sleep. Or Not to worry as much as u do. Just something new.

Phew..im really ready.

Off of that..
There's a guy in my life that i really love so much with all my heart. I think we'll call him Mr.Yeah. So even though me and Mr.Yeah are not together ive realized i really do care for him and have this love for him that is so real and so strong..I dont have any interest in any guys i see or come accross..So I've decided to just stay single and just get my feelings and my life together. And maybe when all that is getting put together i can then worry about having someone to be there for me as "my man". I guess i can say i know me and Mr.Yeah aren't going to ever be together. i cant lie it really does hurt me. Everyday i think of him, Before i go to sleep at night i think of him. Hes just always in my thoughts.Crazy you know how us girls have that one guy we feel so much for and even tho your not together or whatever the case may be it seems like everything and anything reminds u of that person? Yeah..thats me at this point but its ok. All i can do is be a woman about it and smile and wish him the best, even if i still feel strongly about him and dont want anyone with him but me. But thats selfish, i know he's better off with someone else reguardless of how much it hurts inside to even THINK about that. Who knows? I could wake up tomarrow and here some female is taking my place and healing any hurt or deep feelings he has for me? But i be thinking maybe its sometimes a part of life for some people, i guess im one of them. Well god bless him because i love him. Enough of me rambling along with my now non existant love life lol.




I have to admit, there is something about RemyMa that i like alot. I find myself listening to so much of her music because she comes off real and i can just relate to her in so much. I grew up in the hood and then my parents moved into the burbs and for about 2 years now we moved back to the hood and even tho its bad at times it all i know the best. I dont live my life for failure like alot of people here..im different and im not saying im better than anybody here but i know when i get mystuff together im gonna do alot better and make it further than most.

Well its getting late, Until next time.XoxO

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