October 13th...New start =)

Well, here I am in class I woke up at 6 this morning so tired! I am so not a morning person. Well I’m in my “transcription” class it just really gets annoying sometimes so I take a break from it for a couple minutes [ so I thought id blog =P ].
I haven’t been able to get on as much because school has been getting hectic and so a lot of time goes into it. I’m sure yall understand where I’m coming from. Besides school theres been a lot of drama family wise…I just get so sick of it cause I feel like damn is there ever a moment where everyone can “get along” or not have SOMETHING always go wrong.. Every family has their own problems but I wish it wasn’t always. Sheesh.
As for me and Mr. Yeah. Yeaaaaa about that…well ive decided to put myself away from him because..its only right. So now atleast he’s living his life and im living mines. There is no more “us” and I never would have guessed in a million years that I would be without him..or him without me. I guess I was kinda stuck on the idea of I got someone good and he loves me and he’ll do me right since he loves me..ha how many females think that and its actually true? Idk what made me think that I was so different and lucky to have something THAT good. Well enough of me rambling on about that. I’m learning to deal and move on. =) Ive met a couple guys but im keeping them as friends because I feel like its kinda too soon to move on. I will when im ready..some of my friends tell me I should just give another dude a chance and they say that if I do that maybe ill find someone that treats me how I should be treated but idk only time will tell huh? But for now my mind is focused on me and my life.
Current song: MC- I cant wait to hate you.

forgive -- forget ??

Everyone should forgive.
Days are long but the years?..they're short
why waist that on holding grudges, feeling sad, annoyed, hurt, and all the other feelings that feel really bad to us. I mean of course there's a reason why we all have these types of feelings. Maybe a loss of a loved one or friend..or an end of a relationship...or a fight with someone you love..and many more reasons there could be. I mean to really forgive..would make all of us a stronger person..im not saying to forget any of it but its best to forgive and put it all behind us and spend all that time that would have been spent on feeling those bad feelings, on something else that who knows? could be something wonderful..

Granted that there are some things that we can not forgive certain people for but for the rest of it..its time to let go dont you think?

Well..Im learning now about all of this and im trying to start forgiving people who have done me wrong and im kindof an emotional person but im going to learn how not to take to heart so much about what people say think or do. I mean because in my head its like..I would want someone to forgive me for anything ive done to them you know? so why wouldnt i do the same back?..

Dont ever let anyone walk all over you..not even the slightest bit. Ive learned in the past some people you try to help out of the kindness of your heart..only come back to ask for more. I guess its one of the many lessons life has to offer. =)

Saturday night movie

to wong foo thanks for everything julie newmar

So here i am alone all sad and down over stuff thats going on. but anyways. So i started watching tv on lifetime..then i ended up watching one of my fav movies =) ha! i love this movie...Makes me laugh sooo much. i love ChiChi "Ima latina marilyn monroe i got more legs then a bucket of chicken Pendeja" So many more memorable quotes lol. Ah i love all three! =) lol this movie left me in a good mood.

R.I.P Patrick Swayze

This was most def one of his best!

Whore by Tanika Lynch

So i got this book called Whore by Tanika Lynch. Its one of them kinda books you wont put down until you finish! and i love that. I just liked how Tanika used street talk throught the book and i just really loved the book =)

so basically in the book...
Kamone, light skin,green eyes, 15yrs old. She was a girl that went through more then any of us will ever go through in life. From being born from an Hiv coke whore to getting molested at 5 by her own father and having to prostitute herself to help her 7 and 3 years old sibling survive cus her mother decided to get up and leave her to hit the streets. She had to take coke to be able to prostitute herself because without it she had low self worth with guys. She put trust in the wrong people and ends up double cross the wrong people. So she ended up calling this guy trying to be a girl a faggot.. and he sends her to his people to get drugs. Kamone had no idea what was going to happen...She ended up raped by over 15 guys because they tied her up and ran in her one after the other..So after they finished, they over drugged her and she almost died and they ended up dropping her off in a alley way like she was nothing..Then this guy and his friend came accross her body and basically saved her....Then there was alot that went on between the guy and his twin brother...the brother wanted Kamone bacause she resembled his mother so much..Its a crazy twist at the end and leaves you surprised!

bounty hunter

So i was watching the show, btw (its crazy how rediculously hugh his wife boobs are..no joke) = ANYWAYS.. so it was the episode where their daughter was getting married and after the wedding rehearsal they all had like a dinner going on and in the middle of the dinner, the bride and her parents ; the rest of the bounty hunter gang left the dinner to catch some girl they've been looking for. The daughter of course was kindof pissy about it in the beggining of them leaving to get the lady. But thats understandable, what bride wants to leave her own dinner after having her wedding rehearsal to get some female and lock her up? Welp, they caught the lady (of course) as they usually do..so then they showed the wedding. Ugh! i swear i started tearing up..and i normally dont tear for anything on tv..but the wedding was sooo beautiful!

God, i think all weddings are beautiful and such a blessing for two people to get together and say i do and have the mindset and focus to be faithful,loving,true, and just be there for that person through ups and downs and everything else life throws at us!..

When i get married. OMG. i just want it of course to be with the RIGHT person. And i want my wedding to be unique in a way to call our own. You know what i mean, simple things that makes such the difference and such more deeper meaning to hold. Hmm. i cant wait to get all creative lol. and of course another important thing....finding the dress that feels and looks too perfect on us.Of course every bride wants that! And i kinda would love special pictures like taken with bride and groom different beautiful and unique settings,you know? hmmm my thoughts are jus so into all of this..i could go on and on..

its a blessing to get married..and not giving up and making it work =)

mothering

Well tonight im in my room, cold and just got my mind all out there thinking about so much! *smirks*.

Well earlier in my day i was sitting on my porch with my parents just talking and what not. So ive kinda got close to my neighbor and her 2 kids.[Kenya, Ziarh] I have to admit after only knowing her and her two beautiful kids for a couple of months ive really grown attached to them. The first picture is me kissing her =) she has that face on her cause my mom kept saying "my erica" she gets mad when people try to claim me..lol kids :]

Im not sure what it is but most of my life all i hear from people is how im really good with kids and id be a really good mother ; so on with those types of comments. Id just smile and say thanks. Everybody is right though..im not sure what it is but for some reason i have a way with kids and im sure id be a good mother to my own like all mothers should be.

So everymorning when Kenya wakes up she begs her mom to go out front to see if im up. So if im not outside sometimes shell run to my porch and try to open the door or shell yell EH-KA thinking i could here her. She is just so adorable and loving ; will be such a beautiful girl when she grows up =)

I really want kids someday..but the thing is i just wanna have my life together meaning a good home and job. I also feel like i dont want kids unless its with the man im going to really be with..im not tryna have different babys fathers or have a kid with a guy but me and the father aren't together..I just want a family that of course would have ups and downs (like any family) and just be a really good mother to my kids; teach them right. Having kid[s] is just such a beautiful thing.

Nails

lol @ how i put my fingers..but the black ; white is my fav =)

Hair

okay so yesterday i gave myself bangs.
Turns out everyone likes it but me.
I'm not sure if it because im not use to it yet or what!
Hairstyles definatly can make or break someones confidence..got mines not so great
Well heres a pic i took after i did it.


Blah...

Remember this song?

So im in a love mood..

This song is so beautiful, and it truly takes a real man to say the words spoken in the song.

This song really makes me feel a type of way, but i think that also goes for most women.

"Dont you know youll always be the most beautiful women i know,so let me reassure you darling that my feelings are truly unconditional."
i could go on and on throughout the song but there are just so many quotes., its just beautiful. Im sure while listening to it youll get memories brought back to you as well as it brough back many of mines.

And anyone who has experienced love but never actually been INlove..it will come someday..you'll she how absolutely *amazing* it feels

Real Shxt

Its four days into the month of September, I cant explain it but i just havent felt like my self for awhile now. Well after this blog, im going to head to bed and try to get a good nights sleep. I want tomarrow to be my day. Meaning not let anything bother me. When i wake up ; get out the shower im gonna change into something that makes me feel really good about myself and go and start my day.If anything bad happends i wont let it get to me, ill try to smile more and just hope to have just a really nice day.

Well im on break for my classes until the 15th. I guess you could say im trying to start new habbits and just try to change my life around with a different attitude towards myself ; mylife.
Yall ready to join me?

Its kinda like how people have new years resolutions. Well im going to start that but NOW. From today until the 15th i want to start new things like habbits and such and when the 15th comes i just want to see what i stick with and what i dont if i choose not to keep anything i start.
Im not really sure yet what im changing. I know i wanna start a new diet. Go job hunting like crazy! because at this point i really need a job. I want to keep 100 focused on my school work (because lately ive been letting my problems interfere on my school attendance and schoolwork). read more. express myself more. Stop being so to myself ; quiet. And anything else that i decide.
If any of yall been feeling kinda off yall should start something new too! It could be something so simple like going to sleep earlier for a better nights sleep. Or Not to worry as much as u do. Just something new.

Phew..im really ready.

Off of that..
There's a guy in my life that i really love so much with all my heart. I think we'll call him Mr.Yeah. So even though me and Mr.Yeah are not together ive realized i really do care for him and have this love for him that is so real and so strong..I dont have any interest in any guys i see or come accross..So I've decided to just stay single and just get my feelings and my life together. And maybe when all that is getting put together i can then worry about having someone to be there for me as "my man". I guess i can say i know me and Mr.Yeah aren't going to ever be together. i cant lie it really does hurt me. Everyday i think of him, Before i go to sleep at night i think of him. Hes just always in my thoughts.Crazy you know how us girls have that one guy we feel so much for and even tho your not together or whatever the case may be it seems like everything and anything reminds u of that person? Yeah..thats me at this point but its ok. All i can do is be a woman about it and smile and wish him the best, even if i still feel strongly about him and dont want anyone with him but me. But thats selfish, i know he's better off with someone else reguardless of how much it hurts inside to even THINK about that. Who knows? I could wake up tomarrow and here some female is taking my place and healing any hurt or deep feelings he has for me? But i be thinking maybe its sometimes a part of life for some people, i guess im one of them. Well god bless him because i love him. Enough of me rambling along with my now non existant love life lol.




I have to admit, there is something about RemyMa that i like alot. I find myself listening to so much of her music because she comes off real and i can just relate to her in so much. I grew up in the hood and then my parents moved into the burbs and for about 2 years now we moved back to the hood and even tho its bad at times it all i know the best. I dont live my life for failure like alot of people here..im different and im not saying im better than anybody here but i know when i get mystuff together im gonna do alot better and make it further than most.

Well its getting late, Until next time.XoxO

hmm..

A blind person can see more than a person with two eyes that are good.

Someone that has everything good doesnt stop and just appreciate their blessings.

Is it worse to forgive and then forget or to forget to forgive?

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but in everything

Days are long, years go fast.--so true

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die

All of these really just leave me thinking..

Hatersssss

I love haters. You should too.
They all let us know we doing something right..wheather its dumb shit like a female being jealous of your man..your job..shit even your hair...and for the fellas that got some haters on they money..swagg..shit anything and everything.
be greatful for your haters. They make your head keep staying high and gives u the confidence to keep doing you. Shit before the summer ends (not much time left) You got 10 haters? shit get to 20 before the summer ends..lolol.. Now im not saying get on some conceited shit but just be a lil proud you got people letting you know your headed in the right direction

Text messages

Have you ever had one of them days where your just waiting for that special somebody to text you but.......EVERYBODY AND THEY MOMMA text you and not the person youve been wanting on..
Sheesh...and then when that person actually does text you..you get a simple hey..or wasup

ALL THAT WAITING JUST FOR THAT????

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that frustrates the hell out of me.

Then to top the frustration all off...
while waiting for that person to text you,
ALONG with everyone you dont want a text from you get them ANNOYING ass FW messages...like send to 10 people..like what the hell? shit i pick up the phone like word finally you text me and here its a damn FW text....

Not sure what it is, but..

they make a cute couple =)

What makes a good girlfriend or Wife?

Granted not everyone will agree on what makes a good girlfriend/wife. Simple because everyone has different wants and need and all together different standards..This is all in my opinion what makes a good girlfriend/wife.



**--She's independant.

No man wants a woman he has to do EVERYTHING for. Yes, us women like our man to spoil us everyonce in a while but still should just appreciate it rather than take advantage of it. If your man out of the blue gives you money to go shopping or buys you nice things SHOW him how much it means. In my view i think a man wants a woman that can stand on her own 2 feet. Also a woman that is able to enjoy time away from her man, yet when they are together she lets him know she's been missin' him..atleast show him he's crossed your mind while gone. I feel as a man has the ability to spoil they're woman, the woman should do the same sometimes..While at the store get him something doesnt always have to be big..Gotta remember its the little things that counts..He'd like to see you've thought of him while out shoppin ect.


**--She's not a ditz

Men like to figure out what they're woman is really thinking about behind them glazed eyes..or if she is even thinking at all!..A smart woman can surprise him and keep him on his toes, not get so bored tired of her. Its always nice to just talk.


**--sexual

need i say more? Find me a man that doesnt want a woman to be sexual..or even give a couple surprises every once in a while.


**--beautiful

Yup, your beautiful in his eyes. A good girlfriend/wife dont only want to look good for you, but also for herself. Im not saying she has to have her assets out 27/7, i mean as long as shes well put together..She doest have to be perfect but in her own way she shows her beauty, thats what makes any girl beautiful. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.


**--Respect

If yall are out and about or whatever the case maybe..if she has a problem she waits to discuss it in private. Not go all crazy infront of random people about stupid stuff..Yeah all women are different some its nature to just come out and say fuck this and fuck that and fuck you but key is does she know how to bite her tounge a little more..Or atleast try?

**--Lets him be a man!

Just like a man shouldnt stop you from shopping, You shouldnt stop him from hanging with the fellas. What i think is, yeah men need their space BUT dont disrespect your girl while she's not there and doesnt know what goes down..Meaning she's letting you chill or do whatever with your fellas while your out, why would u let a woman even try to play the part of your girl in any type of way..like flirting..sexual..ect. I think if a woman knows her man wouldnt disrespect her in that way letting him out with the fellas without arguing about it later would make everything better. PLUS makes the relationship stronger ; just that much better.

**--She loves him


She loves him for who he really is ; not the who you pretent or try to be sometimes.(that makes her more of a keeper) All women have annoying habits that their man has to contend with but if she really loves him, she will be able to cope also. Also if a surprise visit or phone call from him makes her light up, there is NO denying that she loves him..


**--She makes him wanna be a better man

And what man wouldnt want that one woman that has the ability to do that?

NouriFusion MultiVitamin Exfoliating Scrub; Herbal Aloe

O M G i recently got this Scrub and let me tell yall its SO good!! I've never been into scrubs ; all that. But i figured hey ima just try something differnt.

As we age, our skin cell turnover starts slowing down and basically leaves us with a dull completion. Exfoliation helps take away the dry; dead skin cells. This scrub leaves your skin feeling so fresh. It gently but thorougly takes off older cells and allows fresh and new skin to show =) WOOHOO.. The colorful red seeds in it come from strawberries ; raspberries.

So basically its to be used 2ce a week..What i do is when i get out the shower; dry my face, i put on the scrub on all over my face in circular motion and i leave it on for a couple minutes..Usually after putting it on and making the circular motion all over id brush my teeth and by that time its ready to be washed off..So, i wash it off my face and it leaves my face feeling so soft and smooth ; leaves such a clear complexion your sure to love it. So yall know i was in the mirror like okkkk i like me some exfoliating scrub LOL.

I recommend this to anyone because its really good..
So if you google NouriFusion MultiVitamin Exfoliating Scrub, for sure you'll find the site to check it out..

Along with that i got this lotion its called Herbal Aloe. and i put it on after i exfoliate and i just love the results..Sometimes i use the lotion on my hands or body and it just leaves you feeling so soft.

Well thats all on my end for now.

L O V E

Heres a topic that never ends. Lets tost to love. Well, on a personal note, i think a person that can put everything on the line for whom they believe is "the one" is an amazing person. I honestly believe a person will never stop loving anyone they've ever loved, even if the relationship has ended.

People change. Yeah thats granted, but sometimes i stop to think about it and i cant help but wonder why let "change" throw the reason the relationship started, all away. I feel if you love someone..dont ever let them go.

"If you love someone let them go, if they come back it was ment to be and if not it was never ment.." As far as that goes...ooohhhh mannnn I agree, and then again i dont. If you love someone and let them go...9 times outta 10 they go stray and explore they're options..For one thing why get back with someone if they have to second guess you and go to other people lookin for love? and obviously pleasure ect...And when they realize you were it all along...Is it really worth it? I mean if it was me i would dread the thought of someone i love being with other females just because he's not 100% about being with me..Shit, if you feel that way then theres the door!..No but seriously guys can be so difficult its crazy..Why second guess the person that makes you smile...makes you a better person, and so on.

Here's a thought, think about where you see yourself in 4-5 years and if the thoughts include that special someone..Well that alone speaks for itself.

Enough of me and my rambling on and on about all that. Ive been thinkin about freelancing makeup wise..I recently discovered i have a huge passion for makeup. I'm not sure why that is but i dont care! Well its still a thought anyways, im going to continue to think about it. I <3>Geez i dont have a man to spoil me with what i want but its ok wit me. I just cant wait to finish classes and work my ass off!!!! Watchout worlddd [: