forgive -- forget ??

Everyone should forgive.
Days are long but the years?..they're short
why waist that on holding grudges, feeling sad, annoyed, hurt, and all the other feelings that feel really bad to us. I mean of course there's a reason why we all have these types of feelings. Maybe a loss of a loved one or friend..or an end of a relationship...or a fight with someone you love..and many more reasons there could be. I mean to really forgive..would make all of us a stronger person..im not saying to forget any of it but its best to forgive and put it all behind us and spend all that time that would have been spent on feeling those bad feelings, on something else that who knows? could be something wonderful..

Granted that there are some things that we can not forgive certain people for but for the rest of it..its time to let go dont you think?

Well..Im learning now about all of this and im trying to start forgiving people who have done me wrong and im kindof an emotional person but im going to learn how not to take to heart so much about what people say think or do. I mean because in my head its like..I would want someone to forgive me for anything ive done to them you know? so why wouldnt i do the same back?..

Dont ever let anyone walk all over you..not even the slightest bit. Ive learned in the past some people you try to help out of the kindness of your heart..only come back to ask for more. I guess its one of the many lessons life has to offer. =)

Saturday night movie

to wong foo thanks for everything julie newmar

So here i am alone all sad and down over stuff thats going on. but anyways. So i started watching tv on lifetime..then i ended up watching one of my fav movies =) ha! i love this movie...Makes me laugh sooo much. i love ChiChi "Ima latina marilyn monroe i got more legs then a bucket of chicken Pendeja" So many more memorable quotes lol. Ah i love all three! =) lol this movie left me in a good mood.

R.I.P Patrick Swayze

This was most def one of his best!

Whore by Tanika Lynch

So i got this book called Whore by Tanika Lynch. Its one of them kinda books you wont put down until you finish! and i love that. I just liked how Tanika used street talk throught the book and i just really loved the book =)

so basically in the book...
Kamone, light skin,green eyes, 15yrs old. She was a girl that went through more then any of us will ever go through in life. From being born from an Hiv coke whore to getting molested at 5 by her own father and having to prostitute herself to help her 7 and 3 years old sibling survive cus her mother decided to get up and leave her to hit the streets. She had to take coke to be able to prostitute herself because without it she had low self worth with guys. She put trust in the wrong people and ends up double cross the wrong people. So she ended up calling this guy trying to be a girl a faggot.. and he sends her to his people to get drugs. Kamone had no idea what was going to happen...She ended up raped by over 15 guys because they tied her up and ran in her one after the other..So after they finished, they over drugged her and she almost died and they ended up dropping her off in a alley way like she was nothing..Then this guy and his friend came accross her body and basically saved her....Then there was alot that went on between the guy and his twin brother...the brother wanted Kamone bacause she resembled his mother so much..Its a crazy twist at the end and leaves you surprised!

bounty hunter

So i was watching the show, btw (its crazy how rediculously hugh his wife boobs are..no joke) = ANYWAYS.. so it was the episode where their daughter was getting married and after the wedding rehearsal they all had like a dinner going on and in the middle of the dinner, the bride and her parents ; the rest of the bounty hunter gang left the dinner to catch some girl they've been looking for. The daughter of course was kindof pissy about it in the beggining of them leaving to get the lady. But thats understandable, what bride wants to leave her own dinner after having her wedding rehearsal to get some female and lock her up? Welp, they caught the lady (of course) as they usually do..so then they showed the wedding. Ugh! i swear i started tearing up..and i normally dont tear for anything on tv..but the wedding was sooo beautiful!

God, i think all weddings are beautiful and such a blessing for two people to get together and say i do and have the mindset and focus to be faithful,loving,true, and just be there for that person through ups and downs and everything else life throws at us!..

When i get married. OMG. i just want it of course to be with the RIGHT person. And i want my wedding to be unique in a way to call our own. You know what i mean, simple things that makes such the difference and such more deeper meaning to hold. Hmm. i cant wait to get all creative lol. and of course another important thing....finding the dress that feels and looks too perfect on us.Of course every bride wants that! And i kinda would love special pictures like taken with bride and groom different beautiful and unique settings,you know? hmmm my thoughts are jus so into all of this..i could go on and on..

its a blessing to get married..and not giving up and making it work =)

mothering

Well tonight im in my room, cold and just got my mind all out there thinking about so much! *smirks*.

Well earlier in my day i was sitting on my porch with my parents just talking and what not. So ive kinda got close to my neighbor and her 2 kids.[Kenya, Ziarh] I have to admit after only knowing her and her two beautiful kids for a couple of months ive really grown attached to them. The first picture is me kissing her =) she has that face on her cause my mom kept saying "my erica" she gets mad when people try to claim me..lol kids :]

Im not sure what it is but most of my life all i hear from people is how im really good with kids and id be a really good mother ; so on with those types of comments. Id just smile and say thanks. Everybody is right though..im not sure what it is but for some reason i have a way with kids and im sure id be a good mother to my own like all mothers should be.

So everymorning when Kenya wakes up she begs her mom to go out front to see if im up. So if im not outside sometimes shell run to my porch and try to open the door or shell yell EH-KA thinking i could here her. She is just so adorable and loving ; will be such a beautiful girl when she grows up =)

I really want kids someday..but the thing is i just wanna have my life together meaning a good home and job. I also feel like i dont want kids unless its with the man im going to really be with..im not tryna have different babys fathers or have a kid with a guy but me and the father aren't together..I just want a family that of course would have ups and downs (like any family) and just be a really good mother to my kids; teach them right. Having kid[s] is just such a beautiful thing.

Nails

lol @ how i put my fingers..but the black ; white is my fav =)

Hair

okay so yesterday i gave myself bangs.
Turns out everyone likes it but me.
I'm not sure if it because im not use to it yet or what!
Hairstyles definatly can make or break someones confidence..got mines not so great
Well heres a pic i took after i did it.


Blah...

Remember this song?

So im in a love mood..

This song is so beautiful, and it truly takes a real man to say the words spoken in the song.

This song really makes me feel a type of way, but i think that also goes for most women.

"Dont you know youll always be the most beautiful women i know,so let me reassure you darling that my feelings are truly unconditional."
i could go on and on throughout the song but there are just so many quotes., its just beautiful. Im sure while listening to it youll get memories brought back to you as well as it brough back many of mines.

And anyone who has experienced love but never actually been INlove..it will come someday..you'll she how absolutely *amazing* it feels

Real Shxt

Its four days into the month of September, I cant explain it but i just havent felt like my self for awhile now. Well after this blog, im going to head to bed and try to get a good nights sleep. I want tomarrow to be my day. Meaning not let anything bother me. When i wake up ; get out the shower im gonna change into something that makes me feel really good about myself and go and start my day.If anything bad happends i wont let it get to me, ill try to smile more and just hope to have just a really nice day.

Well im on break for my classes until the 15th. I guess you could say im trying to start new habbits and just try to change my life around with a different attitude towards myself ; mylife.
Yall ready to join me?

Its kinda like how people have new years resolutions. Well im going to start that but NOW. From today until the 15th i want to start new things like habbits and such and when the 15th comes i just want to see what i stick with and what i dont if i choose not to keep anything i start.
Im not really sure yet what im changing. I know i wanna start a new diet. Go job hunting like crazy! because at this point i really need a job. I want to keep 100 focused on my school work (because lately ive been letting my problems interfere on my school attendance and schoolwork). read more. express myself more. Stop being so to myself ; quiet. And anything else that i decide.
If any of yall been feeling kinda off yall should start something new too! It could be something so simple like going to sleep earlier for a better nights sleep. Or Not to worry as much as u do. Just something new.

Phew..im really ready.

Off of that..
There's a guy in my life that i really love so much with all my heart. I think we'll call him Mr.Yeah. So even though me and Mr.Yeah are not together ive realized i really do care for him and have this love for him that is so real and so strong..I dont have any interest in any guys i see or come accross..So I've decided to just stay single and just get my feelings and my life together. And maybe when all that is getting put together i can then worry about having someone to be there for me as "my man". I guess i can say i know me and Mr.Yeah aren't going to ever be together. i cant lie it really does hurt me. Everyday i think of him, Before i go to sleep at night i think of him. Hes just always in my thoughts.Crazy you know how us girls have that one guy we feel so much for and even tho your not together or whatever the case may be it seems like everything and anything reminds u of that person? Yeah..thats me at this point but its ok. All i can do is be a woman about it and smile and wish him the best, even if i still feel strongly about him and dont want anyone with him but me. But thats selfish, i know he's better off with someone else reguardless of how much it hurts inside to even THINK about that. Who knows? I could wake up tomarrow and here some female is taking my place and healing any hurt or deep feelings he has for me? But i be thinking maybe its sometimes a part of life for some people, i guess im one of them. Well god bless him because i love him. Enough of me rambling along with my now non existant love life lol.




I have to admit, there is something about RemyMa that i like alot. I find myself listening to so much of her music because she comes off real and i can just relate to her in so much. I grew up in the hood and then my parents moved into the burbs and for about 2 years now we moved back to the hood and even tho its bad at times it all i know the best. I dont live my life for failure like alot of people here..im different and im not saying im better than anybody here but i know when i get mystuff together im gonna do alot better and make it further than most.

Well its getting late, Until next time.XoxO

hmm..

A blind person can see more than a person with two eyes that are good.

Someone that has everything good doesnt stop and just appreciate their blessings.

Is it worse to forgive and then forget or to forget to forgive?

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but in everything

Days are long, years go fast.--so true

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die

All of these really just leave me thinking..

Hatersssss

I love haters. You should too.
They all let us know we doing something right..wheather its dumb shit like a female being jealous of your man..your job..shit even your hair...and for the fellas that got some haters on they money..swagg..shit anything and everything.
be greatful for your haters. They make your head keep staying high and gives u the confidence to keep doing you. Shit before the summer ends (not much time left) You got 10 haters? shit get to 20 before the summer ends..lolol.. Now im not saying get on some conceited shit but just be a lil proud you got people letting you know your headed in the right direction

Text messages

Have you ever had one of them days where your just waiting for that special somebody to text you but.......EVERYBODY AND THEY MOMMA text you and not the person youve been wanting on..
Sheesh...and then when that person actually does text you..you get a simple hey..or wasup

ALL THAT WAITING JUST FOR THAT????

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

that frustrates the hell out of me.

Then to top the frustration all off...
while waiting for that person to text you,
ALONG with everyone you dont want a text from you get them ANNOYING ass FW messages...like send to 10 people..like what the hell? shit i pick up the phone like word finally you text me and here its a damn FW text....