mothering

Well tonight im in my room, cold and just got my mind all out there thinking about so much! *smirks*.

Well earlier in my day i was sitting on my porch with my parents just talking and what not. So ive kinda got close to my neighbor and her 2 kids.[Kenya, Ziarh] I have to admit after only knowing her and her two beautiful kids for a couple of months ive really grown attached to them. The first picture is me kissing her =) she has that face on her cause my mom kept saying "my erica" she gets mad when people try to claim me..lol kids :]

Im not sure what it is but most of my life all i hear from people is how im really good with kids and id be a really good mother ; so on with those types of comments. Id just smile and say thanks. Everybody is right though..im not sure what it is but for some reason i have a way with kids and im sure id be a good mother to my own like all mothers should be.

So everymorning when Kenya wakes up she begs her mom to go out front to see if im up. So if im not outside sometimes shell run to my porch and try to open the door or shell yell EH-KA thinking i could here her. She is just so adorable and loving ; will be such a beautiful girl when she grows up =)

I really want kids someday..but the thing is i just wanna have my life together meaning a good home and job. I also feel like i dont want kids unless its with the man im going to really be with..im not tryna have different babys fathers or have a kid with a guy but me and the father aren't together..I just want a family that of course would have ups and downs (like any family) and just be a really good mother to my kids; teach them right. Having kid[s] is just such a beautiful thing.

Nails

lol @ how i put my fingers..but the black ; white is my fav =)

Hair

okay so yesterday i gave myself bangs.
Turns out everyone likes it but me.
I'm not sure if it because im not use to it yet or what!
Hairstyles definatly can make or break someones confidence..got mines not so great
Well heres a pic i took after i did it.


Blah...

Remember this song?

So im in a love mood..

This song is so beautiful, and it truly takes a real man to say the words spoken in the song.

This song really makes me feel a type of way, but i think that also goes for most women.

"Dont you know youll always be the most beautiful women i know,so let me reassure you darling that my feelings are truly unconditional."
i could go on and on throughout the song but there are just so many quotes., its just beautiful. Im sure while listening to it youll get memories brought back to you as well as it brough back many of mines.

And anyone who has experienced love but never actually been INlove..it will come someday..you'll she how absolutely *amazing* it feels

Real Shxt

Its four days into the month of September, I cant explain it but i just havent felt like my self for awhile now. Well after this blog, im going to head to bed and try to get a good nights sleep. I want tomarrow to be my day. Meaning not let anything bother me. When i wake up ; get out the shower im gonna change into something that makes me feel really good about myself and go and start my day.If anything bad happends i wont let it get to me, ill try to smile more and just hope to have just a really nice day.

Well im on break for my classes until the 15th. I guess you could say im trying to start new habbits and just try to change my life around with a different attitude towards myself ; mylife.
Yall ready to join me?

Its kinda like how people have new years resolutions. Well im going to start that but NOW. From today until the 15th i want to start new things like habbits and such and when the 15th comes i just want to see what i stick with and what i dont if i choose not to keep anything i start.
Im not really sure yet what im changing. I know i wanna start a new diet. Go job hunting like crazy! because at this point i really need a job. I want to keep 100 focused on my school work (because lately ive been letting my problems interfere on my school attendance and schoolwork). read more. express myself more. Stop being so to myself ; quiet. And anything else that i decide.
If any of yall been feeling kinda off yall should start something new too! It could be something so simple like going to sleep earlier for a better nights sleep. Or Not to worry as much as u do. Just something new.

Phew..im really ready.

Off of that..
There's a guy in my life that i really love so much with all my heart. I think we'll call him Mr.Yeah. So even though me and Mr.Yeah are not together ive realized i really do care for him and have this love for him that is so real and so strong..I dont have any interest in any guys i see or come accross..So I've decided to just stay single and just get my feelings and my life together. And maybe when all that is getting put together i can then worry about having someone to be there for me as "my man". I guess i can say i know me and Mr.Yeah aren't going to ever be together. i cant lie it really does hurt me. Everyday i think of him, Before i go to sleep at night i think of him. Hes just always in my thoughts.Crazy you know how us girls have that one guy we feel so much for and even tho your not together or whatever the case may be it seems like everything and anything reminds u of that person? Yeah..thats me at this point but its ok. All i can do is be a woman about it and smile and wish him the best, even if i still feel strongly about him and dont want anyone with him but me. But thats selfish, i know he's better off with someone else reguardless of how much it hurts inside to even THINK about that. Who knows? I could wake up tomarrow and here some female is taking my place and healing any hurt or deep feelings he has for me? But i be thinking maybe its sometimes a part of life for some people, i guess im one of them. Well god bless him because i love him. Enough of me rambling along with my now non existant love life lol.




I have to admit, there is something about RemyMa that i like alot. I find myself listening to so much of her music because she comes off real and i can just relate to her in so much. I grew up in the hood and then my parents moved into the burbs and for about 2 years now we moved back to the hood and even tho its bad at times it all i know the best. I dont live my life for failure like alot of people here..im different and im not saying im better than anybody here but i know when i get mystuff together im gonna do alot better and make it further than most.

Well its getting late, Until next time.XoxO

hmm..

A blind person can see more than a person with two eyes that are good.

Someone that has everything good doesnt stop and just appreciate their blessings.

Is it worse to forgive and then forget or to forget to forgive?

Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder, but in everything

Days are long, years go fast.--so true

Everyone wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die

All of these really just leave me thinking..

Hatersssss

I love haters. You should too.
They all let us know we doing something right..wheather its dumb shit like a female being jealous of your man..your job..shit even your hair...and for the fellas that got some haters on they money..swagg..shit anything and everything.
be greatful for your haters. They make your head keep staying high and gives u the confidence to keep doing you. Shit before the summer ends (not much time left) You got 10 haters? shit get to 20 before the summer ends..lolol.. Now im not saying get on some conceited shit but just be a lil proud you got people letting you know your headed in the right direction